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Abstract
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In the past decade, we have seen progress, albeit slow, in our communal struggle against abuse in the home. More people are acknowledging that violence does indeed occur in Jewish homes. More Jewish women are feeling empowered to come forward and seek help. Rabbis are reporting that they have attended workshops and panels on the subject, and communities have established committees to address the problem. And, publications that address domestic violence in the Jewish community have been filling library shelves.
In 1995, Rabbi Julie Ringold Spitzer broke new ground in publishing When Love Is Not Enough: Spousal Abuse in Rabbinic and Contemporary Judaism (Federation of Temple Sisterhoods). She exposed the myth that abuse does not happen among Jews, with our tradition of shalom bayit, peace in the home. That belief, she wrote, becomes a burden for women, who feel responsible for maintaining the artifice. Some of the statistics Spitzer cited were unsubstantiated, but she did the Jewish community a tremendous service by bringing a difficult subject to the table.
The following year, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s The Shame Borne in Silence: Spouse Abuse in the Jewish Community (Mirkov Publications, 1996) broke strong taboos among his ultra-Orthodox co-religionists by exposing our people’s secrets. For his efforts, and though his work likely saved many lives, Twerski was shunned by his community. Short on research methodology, this slim volume focuses almost exclusively on counseling of abusers and their victims. Twerski was among the first to advocate the separation of couples during counseling sessions so as to ensure the victim’s freedom of speech during the session, as well as her safety upon return home. |